Only in Amsterdam

So i got to Amsterdam Friday afternoon--after NYC, Geneva, and Zurich I was dead tired and all I wanted to do was nap. The so called sketchy place I found in Amsterdam ended up being not so sketchy---its in Keizergracht and the view from my room is of one of the many canals around the city. The house is a bit of a cat house but thats ok---it is also owned by a very nice canadian named Allan. So i get in the room and I email someone from the study abroad program that I never went on, she invited me to go to the van gogh museum and then a club--unfortunately I got the message too late and I wasn't able to make it. I went down to ask for an adaptor cus my American comp doesnt fit into the power fixtures here. Allan, the owner of the house invited me to inhale some weed. He has this machine that gets the fumes out of the weed but u dont have to smoke it--its really neat. Then I go out by myself and I find what has quickly become the love of my life---wok 2 walk--this cheap chinese fast food restaurant that is on every street in Amsterdam. I go back to the hotel and I meet a guy from Michigan. We walk around the city and he gives me what he called a cheap version of a tour and we smoke copious amounts of pot as we walk around the cold city streets.

Saturday morning Ashley comes in and wakes me up...all ready not a good start. She got in at around 9 am and by noon we had already had our first fight. I locked her out of the room for a while and we bitched at each other for some time and that was that. In the afternoon we had another fight, this time concerning the biting of my toenails and spitting them on the floor. Ashley found it absolutely repulsive--in the mean time she sits there with a pair of tweezers plucking the dead skin from her lips, the bitch is packing her face with NEOSPORIN and then has the balls to bitch about my toenail biting. We had dinner at some nice indian restaurant around the corner from where we are staying and then we went to see a live sex show. None of us knew where this place was at, for some reason this city is so difficult to figure out. I find a way to get to a center square and from there we can locate ourselves---Ashley just bitches about the fact that the streets are desolate and how I did not know where we were going. I try to explain that the street we are taking are full of stores which happened to b e close at this time and therefore it is only reasonable that people arent flocking to that street and how she did not know where we were going either. She can be sooo annoying. We find the place and it happens to be in the Red Light District. We pay 45 euros and we get 4 drinks and a live sex show. It is not arousing at all...the people lay on a circular bed fucking while music plays in the background. The beginning involves people from the audience eating a banana from the crotch of one of the women that will eventually have sex on stage. Then it goes into some couple fucking, some poor indonesian woman trying to dance but she cant and then sticks a dildo up her vagina, then a black couple, followed by some woman that smokes a cigar from her vagina, then by an interracial couple, then by some lesbians, and then by a couple where the man had a very tiny dick..at the end the hostess of the show gets a man from stage lays him there with a strap-on on his forehead and sits on it...and also lets him fuck her with the strap on attached to the forehead--at the end she grabs the strap on and he licked it! SICK !

We go into some str8 bar full of annoying brits. They might be very smart, they might be very polished but they are incredibly annoying and just loud and not fun to be around. Of course Ashley loves it--she would. She starts talking to a man from Cambridge--the bitch starts saying that she goes to cambridge and how she has been there for 3 yrs! all trying to find dick...i just stand there bored and she tells him that we have to go--she rubs the fact that she turned away dick for my well being and i will prob hear about it yrs from now. We go out and smoke some weed...we also go to another bar where we find this old black man selling coke. He wanted Ashley and I to have a threesome with him. Ashley then proceeds to tell him that she has only been with 3 guys (hahahahaha) and that I am the slut and therefore he should fuck me. The man grabs me and wants to fuck...i did touch his dick and he did have a big one. Ashley is sitting there trying to get me to fuck with the dealer so she can get free coke....we leave and that was the end of the ordeal. We decide to go to a club but she wants to sit and smoke pot....i tell her that we can walk and smoke but she refuses...so i left her there in the red light district. I walked home and in the way got into Lellebell, the tranny bar 2 blocks from where we are staying. Its a small bar, with the bartenders dressed as women (ugly women) and people just sit around and some queens with dreams of stardom get on the tiny stage and perform the songs that are being played. I meet this venezuela guy that has lived in amsterdam for the last 6 yrs...we talk go in the bathroom and i blow him. When we came out cops were in the bar....they were checking for weapons...apparently they are scared that there is an alqueda like opperation happening at these places (or so i was told by one of the trannies). They close the bar but i did not want to go home....i went to a club called Palace..and i still do not know if it was str8 or gay i dunno...i made out with some random man and then for the rest of the time i saw how a woman got her tits licked and ger vagina fingered by 2 guys....oh yeah and random men around it watching and touching themselves. They closed that at 5 am and then there was this big street fight....i got home and wanted to go to the thermos night bath house lol.

i get to the room and get the address...i walk and walk and never find the fucking bath house....i found it at 7 30 am lol by then it was too late. During the afternoon tho I did find a sex room...bunch of guys having sex...that was fun and it did break my non-sex cycle...i then complained about the lube on my ass!!!! Today (sunday) i slept till around 5 i went out and basically explored parts of the city. I was invited to the cuckoos nest bar...a gay bar that used to be for leather daddies! I go in, its fine whatever just a reg bar...however, on the bottom floor they have dungeons...sex dungeons---apparently europes oldest. So i go down into the cellars and there are all these men just satinding around, fucking, sucking etc etc. The cellar is a series of hallways that have cellars--like prison cells--where people are fucking or sucking or whatever. There is no light, excpet for some neon red light aligning the walls. You really cant see people at all unless u take ur cell out and put it to their face...but that is not done. So i get to this big cellar where there r 3 naked men in doggy style position waiting to get fucked....1 of them was already getting fucked. there r men standing in front of them getting head and a line of guys waiting to fuck them....it was quite surreal and sooo stimulating....so after the initial shock reaction---well lets just quote the famous saying WHEN IN ROME DO WHAT THE ROMANS DO!!! You walk around and u see people getting fucked, people sucking, people getting spanked..they have one with bars and a dcaptiating machine thing there the person ebdns over and receives anal punishments i guess....it was fun i have to admit...people just touch u and u just touchthem...u blow them u fuck them they fuck u ....no long conversations lol...SOOO PROGRESSIVE !!!